Hey there honeybees, grab ya tea and get comfy! This week’s blog is a personal one. However, it might resonate with many of you. Now raise your hand if you have ever gone through an ebb (struggle) in your life. Keep your hands up if you ever had a storm where it was more than one ebb but a constant slew of ebbs. Okay, now during the storm, how often do you feel stuck? Are we stuck or being pulled back to hit our target?
At the risk of sounding like a toxic positive person, in hopes of shaking our own storm of negative ebbs… One can only take feeling stuck for so long. Yet if the ebbs keep coming, how does one create space for the sucky awareness that nothing is working, while simultaneously creating space for the future?
You think of yourself as an arrow.
Life ebbs can make us believe we are stuck.
However, are we stuck or are we being pulled back?
Listen the ebbs are not fun. Then when the ebbs come in storms, they are extremely loathsome. During these storms, we can often feel stuck. It is always one thing after the next. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. Feel down on your luck, lost in the chaos.
“Hello Darkness my old friend”, on loop.
Why is that?
What about constant ebbs wears on us?
Well for starters stress can destroy brain cells and reduce brain size. Here is the research to prove it. So maybe it is hello darkness my old friend. However, could we do a rebound? Is there a way to recycle bad stress into motivation? Without sounding like a horrid social media influencer filled with toxic positivity?
Well to quote some honeybees in the hive, “be present in the complexity” for starters.
Then ask what is needed to make things go right.
Follow that with a plan for those solutions.
Lastly but most importantly, then understand your timeline is not the universe’s.
Allow yourself to make effort on the progress of the solution, but allow space and time to cause hiccups.
the jelly right out
of your donutPinterest
Stuck or being pulled back like an arrow…
with CO-based, Destination Adventure Couple + Elopement Photo and Video Team WEV.
To be frank, this year has driven us crazy. It seems like we have had something big hit per month.
Lol, she did not know that would be the last sentence she wrote,
before life became hulk on steriods and crack.
Making the boxing match even more interesting.-narrator
August 26th… last day this was worked on.
Or anything was.
I am a huge proponent of being aware of your capacity. So that one knows how it impacts how one shows up. That being said, I am awful at not pushing through my own shortcomings. Mostly because I am an artist, creative, label it, however. It means I take my emotions and create. That also makes me a low-key workaholic. Slowly becoming a recovering workaholic, but have you seen how many incomes and skills you need in the USA? Minimum 2-3, the maximum effort it’s advised 6-7.
Anyhow all of this to say, I typically disguise working through mishaps and misfortunate events as “creating from negative emotions”.
You know beauty from pain.
And all that jazz!
So needless to say it takes a lot to throw me off my groove. In this case, a boxer called Life.
This worthy opponent has been swinging since the first week of January this year, and I thought I finally got foot dance down. Bob, weave, takes a punch to return with more incredible velocity and ferocity. Then we got to the 6th or 7th round, and my cocky self watched as the opponent took steroids, got angry, and turned green to become the Hulk, then did a line of coke. When I say it felt like I could handle anything thrown at me… to laying the imaginary mat asking “should I just stay down?” is not for dramatization.
…am I better off a quitter?…the script
Mental Health Matters More Than Productivity.
My Grams always preached rest and taking breathers and was very adamant that naps need to be daily. However friends will tell you I only listened to this lesson when sick, the weather canceled plans, or Grams stepped in. Now living a life without, I am learning to be my own Grams. As much as she drilled into me, “you betta work” (she was my OG Brittany okay), she also drilled in taking care of your body. Totally heard the first half and went “uh-huh, yadda yadda I’ll get to the second part.”
Well for the first time in years, I did just that.
For 6 weeks. Yes I know I said since 26th, but that was the last time I tried to work. And failed miserably.
Went to the therapist 3 times, within 6 weeks.
Hit an all-time low mentally, and did some heavy, messy, horrible shadow work.
And slowly rebuilt stamina to not be easily wiped out.
And here comes the battle of being a content creator: balancing what you want to share and what to keep life private.
Let me preface, content creators, no matter how much you relate to them: DO NOT OWE YOU COMPLETE TRANSPARENCY OVER THEIR LIFE.
And before anyone thinks, “but what about when they are selling a product?” They need to be honest about the product 100% but the product is not their life.
Okay, moving on.
Anyhow, all that being said… I debated being fully transparent or using this time to make people realize the following:
- No matter how much someone is good at being strong, they too need breaks and rest.
- No matter how much someone is “killing it”, or “crushing it”, they can still have their own demons and lives.
- Everyone deserves time to check the fuck out and take their time getting back up.
Obviously choosing to use this blog as a “people heal and conquer demons as they need, let connections show up in the capacity as they need. As people don’t owe you anything.”
You don’t have to be perfect
to inspire other people.
Let them be inspired
by the way you deal
with your struggles,
your heartache and
Stuck or Pulled Back to the blog?
Stuck or Pulled Back – well that’s the ultimate choice.
As I spent time in therapy angry at not meeting my own expectations, let alone the expectation to perform… I definitely felt STUCK. After barely getting back into a flow post-recovery from oral surgery and everything else Life had thrown our way. To then go back to a soup and protein shake diet of a compromise to make sure even if my depression did not want to eat, I was still getting nutrients. Shout out to two friends. One was a fellow photographer who said I should still go to a bachelorette party and a friend who was having it.
That bride-to-be also said some enlightening words of advice when I went to apologize for my off energy. The weekend made me realize how hungry I was, and not just for food. Although the activities and trying new food did help out on that one. However, it snapped me out of the stuck feelings. However, I didn’t feel like I was being pulled back. Instead of feeling stuck in a traffic jam, I felt stopped at a red light. Not quite pulled back like in the jet before takeoff, but just paused. In that pause, there were several breakthroughs and several vulnerable moments… AND SEVERAL MINUTES spent crying on my therapist’s couch and to my west cost Gem of a sister by life.
I wanted to feel more than sadness brought on anger and disheartened morale.
Basically, I was getting tired of faking dead to my Voldemort to get to the final battle.
ANNNNNNDD I still don’t feel like I am done faking, but I am getting better at waiting.
If you follow along on socials (when I am not a recluse), you’ll notice I have some serious thrifting fashion skills. As someone who has had to meet with heads of different departments, you get used to having fashion make the entrance for you. Have I shown up in business meetings with ripped jeans? Oh, 100% but best believe the top and blazer and shoes screamed: “HEY THERE TIME TO GET THIS MOVING!” So naturally, if we go back to the HP reference, as I faked being dead, I was really just coordinating that “BOOM BABY, STILL HERE”, comeback.
Okay allusions aside, stuck or pulled back blog kept coming back to how am I going to continue and get back into the flow of things?
Whew, that was a long question.
The best solution I could come up with was not to act as if nothing happened. As well as not using details for the content. You see, I have been told countless times “you’re so strong that I forget to ask you how you’re holding up”, “You’re like a cactus, you don’t need much care”, “You’re like the white house, if you go down, you know its bad,” “I just assumed you were handling everything just fine because you weren’t talking about it.” Because at one point I did talk about things, and then it was used against me or I was told that “it wasn’t that bad”.
But I am tired of being seen as strong, or like a fortress.
People have bad days, bad months, bad years even.
“But Becs, ‘Everything happens for a reason.'”
Actually, that’s some toxic positivity BS- sincerely and very animatedly, from my therapist.
As I tried to use that same line to counteract my crying on her couch.
Somethings are just shitty. They happen. The universe is not out there building your character by giving you stuff that is shitty. You are choosing to build your character from it. It’s still stinky shitty things. However you do not owe anyone anything. You do not owe them your success. Shitty things are gonna happen, and you don’t have to choose everytime to try to turn into a good thing or create from it. You can say it is shitty, and let it be shitty. Then go get icecream or iced coffee and not try to “learn” or “become better.” I try to look at as “how is this serving me?” Sometimes, I get to say it’s not and move on. It’s alot better than trying to make myself find the silver lining of the reason why.Therapist (if I did not want to lose them as my therapist I would become best friends with them 100% percent)
And like that, she summed it up. As much as I wanted to say, “be like an arrow.” Sometimes we can sit there and imagine we are an arrow stuck in the quiver. Other times, we can see how the universe is serving us, as an arrow pulled back.
So Stuck or Being Pulled Back? It’s all in timing… and rest and recovery.
If you are not yourself, please seek help. Betterhelp has a one-month free trial, join local support groups, and talk about it. If you ever need an ear, please know you can slide into my DMS and email, no matter what terms we are on. It doesn’t need to be “the worst of the worse” before you reach out, or get help. It can just be shitty timing and you’re tired of getting immediately back up. Just because one round does not have your full power does not mean, you lost all of them.
Stuck or Being Pulled Back
With Colorado-Based Couple + Elopement Photo and Video Team, WEV
So all that being said, at the time of this being published (10-12), there are 7 galleries that need to get done, and matching blogs. Along with 4 blogs that are not gallery related. So it is time for to put back on weight from the depression diet. Find my flow again, and not get lost in feeling overwhelmed by lengthy and intimidating todos. So with that being said, 1 blog down.
Till Next Buzz, honeybees!
Where is your lover’s tale taking us?
Now gotta go make extraordinary art from incomparable love