Howdy ho there! So quick side note, I do not know why that is my favorite greeting right now. However, we’re here so we are just going to move on to just trying this again, FROM THE TOP!
Howdy ho there!
All of these blogs have been to an overall point. Getting to know who you are, and not going to lie I feel like if I keep these topics up per week for the entire 52 weeks of blogging, I might as well say I am releasing a chapter to a book per week. Bad joke aside, all of these blogs do have a point. By discovering who you are and what you stand for, a revolution of sorts takes place in your life. The people in your life then have two main options: accept your changes with love, or move out of your life and complain about it. From there it is on you to decide where your growth leads you, to discover what their reactions teach you. Either it is time to move on from is not serving you, or it is time to re-pot connections.
Move onto a circle of life that serves you–not depletes.
Yup, that is a cue to hold on, there is a waterfall of “aha” moments up ahead like rigid rapids
Perception is a tricky beast, especially when deciding what to move on from.
We all want to be perceived in a particular way, yet very seldomly do the work to be. The work is: knowing ourselves, communicating needs, and using self-awareness to help understand how others might perceive us. So that, we can be perceived as we desire to be. This helps us dramatically, so when one points out a flaw of a sore spot, that goes against the desired perception, there is no ego there to become defensive from fear. So when told the following, “Hey, your actions gave an experience that goes against your preferred perception, can you tell me why?” One does not give in to a knee-jerk reaction such as the following: deny, deflect, shift-blame, or essentially gaslight the one they did accidental harm to. Let alone allowing guilt of said hurt to plague unaddressed insecurities.
So getting to know ourselves is key, first. Because then when someone finds a “flaw”, we do not fear losing credibility.
Due to lapse in the desired perception of ourselves compared to actions or words used.
Perception of ourselves can also misinform others of what we will or will not tolerate.
This is why being authentic in perception goals and planning for matching words and actions, derives from knowing ourselves and limits. Which naturally starts with knowing ourselves past our insecurities we fear judgment over. Knowing ourselves well enough: to take stands, draw lines in the sand, and possibly face the fear of loss– will actually make us better humans. Not just for others but in general for ourselves. It depletes the powerful chokehold that is ego. Instead, replenishes the knowledge of how we want to love ourselves and be loved by others. By removing ego, we nurture a better relationship with ourselves and connections with others.
When the ideal perception of ourselves is derived from a mirage, we will berate ourselves for not being as good as we want to be. As well as feel like a giant disappointment, because the standard we set for ourselves always seems out of reach. Yet when the idealized perception is based on a reflection of truth, not a distorted funhouse mirror of a box we expect ourselves to fit, we set ourselves free. Free of our own expectations and expectations we fear failing from others. Realistic reflection allows us to make better bonds of connections. As well as moving on from ones who can only offer the mirage of meeting our needs and wants.
Words and action (even off-handed ones) need to match relationship with self, to best present, a reflection of a perception attracts and deflects accordingly.
I find that quote to be the best way, to wrap up talks of perception.
“You’ll always have to clear the table.”
Much like how adulthood is figuring out what to eat for dinner every night or doing the same piles of laundry every week– the more one grows and changes, clearing the table will continue to happen.
I remember this week being so chafed in a chat with a friend this week, over the years of loss from growth. The irony of sitting at a table full of laundry. As I read a response from a loving yet brusque friend. “You will always have to clear the table. Take each clearing as the lesson that it is.”
What is clearing the table?
Wonderful question! Imagine you at the head of the table. Now add all of your connections, around you. That is the table. So as you grow and change, those connections will change. Either adjusting to the ever-changing perception or removing themselves as they sense they can not adjust. Or you might yeet them from their seats when communicated needs, wants and expectations only for deaf hears to ignore. Lastly, both the connection and you might mutually and (maturely) discuss parting ways from one another tables.
That is clearing the table.
Even if it is not clearing the entire table, you are still clearing a space at the table.
For who is meant to come and sit, for a season or longer.
As heartbreaking as it is to clear space, it leads room to a warm welcome to those who will appreciate your growth. As well as the perception that is a reflection of who you actually are.
Clearing the table is life.
Just like the making table is life.
Choose people who choose you.
In the act of clearing the table and making room– make room for the ones who choose you. Not for what you can do for them, or how you bring them peace, but solely choose you for you.
Yes, it is nice to be wanted for skill or the influence and good times as well as products of status. However, being selected solely for you is more genuine. As someone who had plenty at the table when I was a friend who had a nice camera but no vision or boundaries. Those connections quickly evaporated when my need to create something I could stand behind as my own, did not match their want to match trends. Sure being wanted, felt nice until I realized it came with a box. There used to be a time I was only ever introduced as the photographer friend.
Now I have friends who just introduce me by name, and often forget that I am even an artist with a camera. Then when they remember, they send me on adventures with epic locations in mind for my honey bees of clients. I am first a friend, artist with a camera second now. Real, unselfish support is a cherished treasure. So take it from me, find people who will support you as a human first. Then whisper your name in rooms filled with opportunities. So like another friend reminded me this week, I’ll remind you reading this.
Choose people who choose you.
Take the lessons brought from clearing the table, and make room for people who choose you.
The real you is not a mirage of a perception based on ego fear.
The table will always be there.
Who is around it, depends on you.
So cherish while you can, those who you let sit and who choose to sit at your table.
Be it a chapter, a season, or life, no matter the time spent there, CHERISH those souls.
Light your corner of the world through how you treat people at your table.
Life is short, so act accordingly!
Yes, move on quickly but don’t forget to cherish the moment.
Move on to better, with lessons from the past that bring clarity.
Now as I channel my inner Carrie Bradshaw, fashionably lounging and writing to a world of readers… not using the stove as clothes storage, however, it does hold a cast iron. I sit here and reflect on wrapping up all these blogs.
Still trying to figure out what caused the instinct to say “we’re doing this.”
Without a clear plan on why or how, or even what will be discussed.
Time will tell, no?
Anyhow, as I concluded this accidental series and begin to wonder what is next.
As well as what is next, I have to also ask aloud the following questions!
- Is there anyone out there who enjoyed the blogs in this accidental series?
- Which one was the favorite blog in the series? Why?
- Which one was the most impactful?
- Which carried the least influence? Why?
- What would you like to read next?
Recently being questioned over what do I blog about, prompted thoughts.
My wit wanted to promptly respond with, “there is a whole world out there, what is there not to blog about?”
However out of learning to rein in the automatic knee-jerk reaction, to speak the exact immediate thought.
I mulled around a weakened answer. Discussed the readers and support instead of topics.
The topics that come to mind.
However are what I do give free rein over, to immediately pop the thought bubble.
Since it is time to move on, I want to hear from you!
What do you want to read about and cause a conversation in the comments?
Till Next Buzz, Bees!